Dustin Dishes

[Today's post is by Head Routesetter/Head Instructor Dustin Curtis]

The rock climbing gym is changing in nature from its once dark dungeon of plywood and resin to the new generation of plastic paradises, with clean, sleek professionally-built walls, well-lit open spaces and beautiful poly urethane shapes. The chefs of these five-star restaurants must also learn to clean up, learn new dishes and out-cook even themselves in order to provide the top dishes expected of these world class facilities.

But Dustin, why is your first blog post about restaurants, especially since you work in a rock climbing gym? Is that what you're thinking? Allow me to continue instead of interrupting me with your punitive thoughts of boredom, desk jockey. Read on harness chuffer, there will be a test.

Rock climbing gyms function on almost the same principles and policies as a restaurant. The two run the same kind of staffing functions and protocols. Don't believe me? Check it: when you walk into a restaurant for the first time, a host or hostess greets you and shows you to your table; when you walk into a rock climbing gym for the first time, a member of the desk staff greets you, gets you to sign a waiver and gives you a belay test or sets you up with a lesson. In a restaurant, a server comes by, (hopefully one that is good looking but if not, after a couple of alcoholic beverages, he/she will be) and they introduce you to the menu and more importantly, the food. In a rock gym you get an instructor who shows you the ins and outs of how to keep yourself safe while you're enjoying the great joy that is rock climbing. In a restaurant, behind the scenes, you have the kitchen. This is where the magic happens. Chefs bring their greatness and creativity to balance with well-rehearsed and practiced recipes that eventually leave the kitchen and get served to you. Chefs bring together a mosaic of ingredients and spices to create their dishes; we as route setters bring together a collection of holds to publish a choreography of movements and body positions that will be loved by many, liked by most and hated by only the very few. You hope.

Chefs have enjoyed illustrious careers that are, for the most part, engaging, schooled and - very importantly - paid, for many years. Route Setters have endured the opposite, as creatures with no education in their craft save for some harsh words by a member once, and the intro lesson of 'this is how to spin a wrench' from the head setter at the time and in return for hours suffered in a harness, retribution is given with free climbing on the holds that you slung up.

But much like the gyms we work in now, we must also evolve and redefine ourselves in this growing industry. While chefs enjoy having a consistent recipe that, in cooperation with each chef’s creativity and ‘personal touches’ will almost always come out the same, with the exception of some colossal mess ups I’ve seen, Route Setters have no such luxury. Sure we have a repertoire of moves, and some oppositional theory that is the consistent basis of climbing, but that’s about it and for the record, recycling ideas and movements on routes is a quick way to move your route setting career from in the harness (or on the ladder if that’s how you do things). By the way, if that is how you do things than you’re a useless wrench monkey who has decided he’s way too good to be on a harness not trying the moves and never challenges himself to do anything more creative than the eighteen crossovers or six gastons that he/she consistently puts in every one of your no-knowledge, uncreative and incredibly generic routes/boulder problems. You deserve that transfer from Route Setter to a behind-the-desk, I manage the gym and make Coke orders, desk job. Sit down and take notice wrench spinners: we are paid for creativity, not reusing the same boring sequences in order to make the extra cash.

My apologies. I got off on a rant, but from that you can tell exactly how passionate I am about providing an engaging and thought provocative climbing experience. We, the Setters, have a not-so-easy task, and on top of the everyday trials and tribulations of being creative is the simple issue that with creativity and passion come the terrible traits of opinionated and personal attachment. It’s different for a Chef: after the dish is prepared, it gets sent out to a patron who gobbles it down. If they didn’t like it, they whisper it lowly among their table or maybe they keep it to themselves. If it’s not amazing but not terrible, they complain to the serving staff or the manager. In the rare case that it’s just absolutely terrible it gets sent back and made again, probably in the same fashion, except added saliva and maybe dropped on the floor and stepped on. In any case, the Chef rarely finds out, unless it’s so sinfully terrible that it warrants being remade. Granted there are some very picky eaters out there but let’s generalize people.

Route Setting is much different. Instead of cooking for an anonymous patron, most of the time, we’re cooking for our friends, co-workers, acquaintances and most importantly fellow climbers. These are the people we sit in our harnesses for excruciating hours of the day (I hear you chufferton! "I sat in a harness for 2 hours the other day while I belayed my friend on his new super project". I’m sure you did, you goober-handed grease monkey, however, you didn’t (and I know you didn’t) have a bucket strapped to your ass full of urethane shapes and bolts as well as a drill and your wrenches. We haul all that plastic and creative thought, slap it on a wall with some tape and then have to listen to the unwarranted complaints and non-descriptive reasons of personal feelings towards movements or holds.

Route Setters are fragile creatures; yes we’re opinionated but for good reason. We put part of ourselves into each one of our routes and then put it on display for the climbing community to judge, criticize and generally abuse on a regular day basis.

The words you’re looking for people: constructive criticism. Feedback is important to us but not in the manner you’re thinking of. Route Setters are evolving; we are no longer the egotistical climbers, who scrounge a living from the nothing wage and answer any kind of balking at our routes with the answer "I did that move in my street shoes".

I don’t know what it is like for any other route setting crew, but I have worked with some of the best Setters in both the US and Canada and consistently try to challenge my team of Route Setters to create the most creative and interesting routes possible. I have the most talented group of route setters I have ever seen gathered in one gym, consistently putting brilliance and creative movement up on the walls, in one of the most fantastic facilities I’ve ever been in and what pains us the most (especially me because I know how hard we work and how much thought we put into our routes) is the unjustified comments of some cranky alpinist climber, wearing old Asolo’s and sporting ‘the latest’ in euro lyrca, complaining that the route was really awkward when the only move that he or she managed not to be crossed up on was the starting holds and the finishing hold.

The point of this is that at True North, we’re specifically attempting to make our routes thoughtful, enjoyable and creative. We will never recycle movement and we will continually attempt to provide flow and comfort in our routes while challenging the climber to be thoughtful, mindful of position and continuously ‘think outside the box.’ Like Chefs, we’re sharing our passion with you, so eat up and enjoy.

Test:
1. Route Setters throughout history have endured and made money by:
A) Checking underneath their car seats and tearing apart their cars for change, assuming they could afford cars.
B) Selling their bodies on the streets.
C) Finding a sugar momma who thinks they’re the next Chris Sharma
D) Working two fast food jobs while belay-slaving at the gym on their non-setting hours.
E) Becoming the next Chris Sharma.
F) A and D
G) B leading into C

2. The proper method for providing constructive criticism after climbing a route is:
A) “That feels awkward and I don’t like it”
B) “It was good but some of the moves didn’t flow right, I think possibly adding some feet or maybe some minor tweaks on that section (pointing to the section) would make it feel just a little more natural”
C) “Dude, sweet route!”
D) “Brah, that sucks”
E) If you actually picked A, C or D, email me and I’ll get you a shirt that’s bright orange and reads "I NEED TO BE WATCHED!" So that the desk staff know to assign you one watcher because if you actually picked those answers I doubt you know how to put your clothes on right in the morning, let alone belay. In fact, if you chose A, C or D check your pants right now: are they on right?

3. The Route Setters of True North are:
A) Fickle creatures that need only alcohol and Clif bars to survive
B) Egotistical maniacs involved in a childish game of sandbagging to destroy and demoralize the entire climbing community
C) Creative and fragile creatures that need to be both nurtured and compassionately encouraged with swift kicks to their special areas while providing constructive criticism in order to allow them to find their own setting style
D) You only wish it was A and B!
E) Mindless muscle heads that put up holds in unimaginative sequences that force their 9 allotted crossovers or gastons into every route.
F) C without the abuse; although the abuse is very convincing and thoroughly effective, it is against the Human Rights Code of Ontario

4. The only education that Route Setters of the past received was:
A) A quick introduction to forcing movement with Louis Anderson as well as a signed copy of “The Art Of Course Setting”
B) A twelve-step program to rid them of certain addictions while they are trained in the fine art of vertical dancing
C) The head setter performs a ritual dance which then unlocks the ancient knowledge of route setting inside the apprentice route setter and they blossom into the creative genius of the next generation of climbers while the head route setter crawls into the hold room where he/she will forever rest in some kind of reverent pose as inspiration to their former Padawan learner.
D) A quick intro of the necessary ins and outs of route setting, along with continual constructive feedback from the head route setter

5. The Head Route Setter, like the Master Chef, is to:
A) Sit in the corner and drink to their hearts content while heckling and daily abusing their crew
B) Motivate their crew to provide the best quality of product. Motivating methods may include: wedgies, allowances for sexual fraternization, ‘bonuses’ and half-witted compliments and insults where appropriate.
C) Offer constructive feedback and encouragement while forcefully containing egos by continually squashing with reasons of failure and disappointment.
D) Gloat uncontrollably about how he/she has the best crew that cannot be matched by any other establishment and that those establishments should simply fire their existing crews and pay the obscene amounts of money that would be charged for their crews to come in. Just saying.
E) B and C
F) A and D

Please grade yourself:
1. F
2. B
3. F
4. D
5. E

Score:
5 correct answers: You Rock!
4 correct answers: Good Work!
3 correct answers: Don’t worry, there’s a next test.
2 correct answers: Did you pass your belay test?
1 correct answer: You don’t even know what a Route Setter is do you?
0 correct answer: Next bridge you pass, over you go.